Saturday, July 9

9 Short Jokes that Will Excite You

9 Short Jokes that Will Excite You

Jeni went to a chemist, reached into his pocket and took out a small bottle and a tea spoon. He poured some liquid onto the tea spoon and offered it to the chemist assistant.

“Could you taste this please?” said Jeni. Chemist assistant took the tea spoon; put it in his mouth swilled the liquid and swallowed it.

“Did it taste sweet?” said Jeni. Chemist assistant replied, ‘No, not at all’. Jeni said, “Good! The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar”. The chemist assistant fainted immediately.

They say Lassa fever is now rampant in the society. And I’d bought half bag of garri for house for six months ago. I come say make I test am if na true bcos rats are many inside my room. I soak garri put milk inside come give my dog Bingo, make him first test am.

Forty-five (45) minutes later, my Bingo still dey waka, dey jolly. Na I decided to drink my own. After I don drink am finished, my gateman run come tell me say Bingo don die, hey! I run enter house, begin drink full gallon of palm oil for my belle, chop twenty-two (22) bitter kola with three (3) long bitter leaf stem, chop walnuts with the shell bcos no time to crack, swallow moringa with Aloe Vera as treatment combo. Garlic and onions be like sweet for my mouth. I come dey sweat as if na oven be my bedroom.

I dey think say my life don finish, and then come outside to see the last daylight. Na then my gateman come dey tell me say the driver wey kill Bingo wan come beg me!

If na you, wetin you go do the gateman?

Akpos returns a book to the library, bangs it on the counter and yells, “I read this entire novel; there are too many names of people and no story at all”.

The librarian looks up and responds, “Idiot! So you are the one who took the attendance book”.

Research shows that: 99999666666665555555524766558889999987876543333322112345678887 students are lazy including you because I know you didn't try to count the numbers.
You are smiling. I got you! Still laughing…

The beauty of Pidgin English reflects in this conversation that ensued between a Warri mum and her son on phone.
OCHUKO: Hello maaleee
MUM: Ochuko, that meat and fish don boil?
OCHUKO: Yes oo maaleee
MUM: Abeg implicate salt and magi, attach oil plus pepper, and sentence the crayfish and other small small fish dem to death… then involve the leaves… after ten (10) minutes, discharge the pot from fire. You dey hear me so?
OCHUKO: Yes maaleee… So, this soup go good to download with Eba o!
MUM: No worry, I don already detain some fufu for cooler. When time reach we go give dem amnesty.

TEACHER: All parents work hard to put bread on the family's table.
CHILI: Ha! Ha!! I hardly see bread on our table. But mostly if not all the time I see garri.

TEACHER: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.
JELI: Then all play and no work make Jack a brilliant boy.

TEACHER: If you know you are stupid stand up.
AKPOS: (Stood up)
TEACHER: Akpos, are you stupid? Why are you standing?
AKPOS: No ma, I'm not stupid, but I can't just bear seeing you standing alone.

AKPOS: Hello darling
JULIE: Hello, who is your darling?
AKPOS: I love you Julie
JULIE: I don't think you love me
AKPOS: I love you so much
JULIE: Are you sure?
AKPOS: I am very sure, because you are the only SIM in my China phone
JULIE: (Happy) I love you too. Bye.
AKPOS: Bye (He hangs up the phone). Idiot, me that have a China phone with 3 SIMS

Don’t laugh alone, please SHARE these 9 short exciting jokes with your friends.


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